People Plan Weddings, Not Divorces

I find this quote interesting. For this weeks Motivation During Divormotivation during divorcece, the bit of advice stems from the significant amount of time we spend getting engaged, picking out a dress, and deciding on the perfect venue and date for the wedding. I can only guess it is because we are experiencing a time of happiness and enjoyment we have waited so long to discover.

But it does make sense that as individuals, when we are faced with divorce, we should partake in the same level of planning and organizing. Although this time in our life is full of rage, frustration, and oftentimes guilt and lack of control, it only seems fitting that planning would be essential to the most positive of outcomes.

Whether you’ve been married for years or months, it is important to understand that no matter who you feel is at fault or whether things can be fixed, that you approach this time in your life as a time to think, observe, and plan. Divorce offers several scenarios and outcomes. Most important to you and your family is to prepare yourself for the coming months, and years.

Connect with a professional in your area regarding your specific family needs. Try your best to stay motivated and positive during these trying times.

Negotiation: Getting To Yes

One of the best books I’ve read on the subject of negotiation is Getting To Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. They have gone on to write additional books and coordinated lectures on the topic, but for a quick read ( I think 150 pages or so) this book is the go to for negotiation.

Negotiation is not just for the business setting. We are constantly negotiating with our coworkers, spouse, and children. Getting To Yes offers a variety of interesting tactics for optimizing your negotiation skills.
Image result for getting to yes book

Please note: This is not a paid advertisement. The book is a Bestseller, quick read, and highly educational!

Why should I use Divorce Mediation?

I look at mediation as a great opportunity for parents! Litigation can result in unhappy parents with an agreement one or both cannot live up to. For individuals with time constraints, changing schedules (I think this describes most people!), and other people in their lives, mediation offers divorcing spouses the opportunity to customize the plans for their future.

When individuals visualize mediation as a customized agreement as opposed to a cookie-cutter mandate imposed by a third party (the judge), parties start to appreciate the importance of the opportunity being given to them.

Mediation allows the parties to maintain control over their future as well as how they will parent their child or children in the future.

Mediation is also more cost-effective than adversarial litigation. If parents can work together and reach an agreement, the time and money spent on the divorce process is significantly lower.

Mediation can result in less stress and reduce future conflict. Parents that reach a settlement together are more likely to work together later when changes are needed.

 

 

 

 

What Do I Need To Do To Prepare For Divorce Mediation?

 

Understand that mediation is an opportunity. If your dispute goes to trial a judge or jury will ultimately decide how you and the other party will proceed in the future. Mediation gives each party an opportunity to have a combined say in the outcome of their dispute.

All mediation is voluntary. Even if you have been court-ordered to mediation, you are not required to come to a resolution. It is important to look at the mediation process as an opportunity to compromise and have a say in the final agreement moving forward.

As part of our Mediation Packet, we provide a document for you to prepare your ideal outcome, what you can live with, and an absolute “No Resolution” situation. List out your must-haves and things you are willing to entertain to resolve your dispute.

Having an open mind and willingness to listen to other possible resolutions is the key to coming to a solution everyone will be satisfied with.

Understand that mediation is a confidential process. The things you say or do at mediation will not be used in court, except for a few exceptions like an expression of a future criminal act or a lawsuit against the mediator.

Although you cannot guarantee how prepared the other party will be, if at all possible, you may want to suggest open dialogue with the other party before the mediation session.